Honestly, I think the biggest reason I want to DJ our own wedding isn’t because of the money, but rather because I absolutely refuse to let some hack DJ play “The Chicken Dance” at my wedding … or “The Locomotion” … or “The Macareana” … or “YMCA.” Basically I hate all songs that come pre-packaged with their own stupid dance. If you’re looking for that kind of thing, you should probably go somewhere else.

Now, I may not know a heck of a lot about planning a wedding reception, but I do know quite a bit about assembling effective playlists. I’m an audiophile. I love music, and I’ve got pretty diverse tastes. So before we get to the actual playlist, I thought I might give a few pointers to people who aren’t as confident putting together playlists.

The main thing to keep in mind when using an iPod to DJ your own wedding dance is the audience. Your objective is to get as many people on the dance floor as you can and keep them there for as long as possible. To that end, keep the following things in mind:

1. Who is at your wedding?

Who is going to be at this wedding? Is the dance floor exclusively for 20-somethings, or are the young people going to be sharing the floor with your great aunt Eunice? Chances are it’s the latter, and if that’s the case you need to make sure your wedding playlist includes a balance of old stuff and new stuff. You need some golden oldies to balance out the Lady Gaga.

2. Can you dance to this song?

Remember, just because you love a song doesn’t mean it should be on your wedding dance playlist. Some songs are great sing-a-long-songs. Some songs are great road-trip songs. Those same songs might not be the best wedding dance songs. If you’re unsure about a song, try dancing to it.

Seriously.

If it’s awkward and difficult to dance to when you’re alone in your living room, imagine how much worse it’s going to be trying to dance to it by yourself on a dance floor.

3. Pay attention to flow

Try grouping songs together by genre or mood. You don’t want to play Rihanna, The Dixie Chicks, AC/DC, Michael Jackson, Ella Fitzgerald, and The Beastie Boys in quick succession. Of course you want to play a wide variety of music, but you want to group like with like.

Play three or four songs for the hip-hop set; follow that up with some awesome 80’s music; pair together a couple of lovey-dovey slow songs and then bring out the classic rock.

4. What’s the mood?

Generally speaking, stay away from sad songs. The mood of your wedding dance should be equal parts romantic, euphoric, funky, cheesy, bad-ass, and bombastic. Avoid anything weepy or angry. Pay attention to the lyrics of the songs on your playlist. Some songs sound like they’re about falling in love when they’re actually about getting your heart ripped out. Use caution.

That said, there are some exceptions to this rule. Basically, if we’re talking about The Temptations singing a jazzy-as-hell number about teenage heartbreak, you’re golden. If we’re talking about your favorite singer-songwriter from college whining into a microphone about how wounded and broken he/she is, you’re sunk.

Further examples:

“Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield = Good

“If I Were a Boy” by Beyoncé = Bad

“Ain’t to Proud to Beg” by The Temptations = Good

…anything by Ani DiFranco = Bad

5. Do people know this song?

Lots of people want to DJ their own wedding dance because they are themselves music fanatics. They have thousands of songs on their iPods, and they trust themselves more than they trust some random DJ to put together a kick-ass playlist. I am one of these people.

The dangerous temptation for people like us is that we may want to use our wedding reception to demonstrate to our guests the sophistication and diversity of our musical interests. However, giving in to this temptation will likely ruin your wedding.

Your wedding is not the occasion to introduce people to new bands or to lecture them on your superior musical taste. Skip the up-and-coming indie bands and stick to the classics. If you really want to personalize your wedding dance playlist, try mixing genres or pairing together songs from different eras.

7. Watch your language.

This is especially important with Hip-Hop. I love Jay-Z, but he’s got a mouth like a sailor. You don’t want to offend anyone at your wedding, especially elderly relatives who’ve travelled a long way and bought you expensive gifts. So, reserve the more libidinous and profane songs for the end of the evening (when your great aunt Eunice is sleeping comfortably in her hotel room).

And just to be safe, spend an extra $10 and buy “clean” versions of your favorite dirty songs on iTunes. All the bad words are replaced by split-second silences. That way you can rock out to “Gold Digger” without worrying about offending anyone.

6. Know your crowd pleasers

There are several songs that are guaranteed to fill a dance floor. If you’re going to DJ your own wedding, you should know. In fact, you probably already know most of them. Space these songs out over the course of the evening to provide periodic bursts of energy to your wedding dance. Here are a few that people might expect to hear:

“You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC
“Crazy In Love” by Beyonce and Jay-Z
“Bust a Move” by Young MC
“The Twist” by Chubby Checker
“Paradise by the Dashboard Light” by Meatloaf
“Hey Ya” by Outkast
“Love Shack” by The B-52’s

7. Make it yours

While you don’t want to create a playlist that only you will enjoy, you should, of course, create a playlist that makes you happy. The whole point of DJing your own wedding dance is that you can tailor it to your tastes, so have fun with it!

Our Wedding Playlist

This list contains six hours of music. Note that songs are grouped together by genre or mood. We’ve put a lot of effort into making sure these songs all flow into one another. It’s entirely possible you won’t like some of these songs, but hopefully this playlist will give you some ideas for your own wedding playlist.

To start, a few upbeat, cheery songs to get people in the mood to dance.

“Do You Wanna Dance” by Cliff Richard
“Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours” by Stevie Wonder
“You Can’t Hurry Love” by Phil Collins

Start strong with some wildly popular and widely recognizable stuff.

“I Gotta Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas
“Dynamite” by Taio Cruz
“Say Hey (I Love You)” by Michael Franti & Spearhead

Now into some Oldies music. Make sure to play some classic music early in the evening for your older guests.

“Louie Louie” by the Kingsmen
“Twist and Shout” by The Beatles
“Burning Love” by Elvis Presley
“You Never Can Tell” by Chuck Berry
“Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morison

Classic fun stuff that appeals to everyone.

“Only the Good Die Young” by Billy Joel
“Faith” by George Michael
“I Wanna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers
“Run Runaway” by Great Big Sea

We’re about an hour in; so we start to heat things up. People have had a couple of drinks; they’re ready for the hard stuff.

“Magic (ft. Rivers Cuomo)” by B.o.B.
“Crazy in Love (ft. Jay-Z)” by Beyoncé
“Don’t Stop the Music” by Rihanna
“Club Can’t Handle Me” by Flo Rida

Now the first slow songs of the evening.

“Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” by Amy Winehouse
“Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley
“Have a Little Faith in Me” by John Hiatt

Back to the Oldies, a little faster paced this time though.

“Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” by The Temptations
“Do You Love Me” by The Contours
“The Twist” by Chubby Checker
“Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley

This is essentially the “Ladies” portion of the playlist. During these songs, expect to see your dance floor flooded with females.

“Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper
“Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” by Beyoncé
“Down (ft. Lil Wayne)” by Jay Sean
“Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga
“Like a Virgin” by Madonna
“Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson

Switch it up with a little Rock, hopefully drawing the guys onto the dance floor to join their dates.

“Cecilia” by Simon & Garfunkel
“Dancing in the Dark” by Bruce Springsteen
“Ants Marching” by Dave Matthews Band
“Free Girl Now” by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.

More Oldies. Remember to return to each genre at regular intervals. If you’ve got guests whose dancing interests are genre specific you want to tempt them back onto the floor every 45 minutes or so.

“Joy to the World” by Three Dog Night
“Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry
“The Wanderer” by Dion
“Twistin’ the Night Away” by Sam Cooke

After another hour, another set of (our favourite) slow songs.

“Sea of Love” by Cat Power
“First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes

Thus begins the heart of our playlist, when everyone is dancing, and no one is thinking about leaving.

“Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams
“Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield
“You Might Think” by The Cars
“Love Shack” by The B-52’s

Kick-ass Hip-Hop!

“Hey Ya” by Outkast
“Forever” by Chris Brown
“Mo Money Mo Problems (ft. Mase)” by Notorious B.I.G.
“OMG (ft. will.i.am)” by Usher
“Angel” by Shaggy & Rayvon

There are six or seven songs in this section (between Bryan Adams and Meatloaf) that will cause people to rush the dance floor. You want a similar high-energy set at the core of your wedding dance playlist.

“December, 1963 (Oh What a Night!)” by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons
“Glory Days” by Bruce Springsteen
“She Ain’t Pretty” by The Northern Pikes
“Takin’ Care of Business” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
“You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC
“Paradise By the Dashboard Light” by Meatloaf

Let people cool down and refill their drinks with a couple of slow songs.

“Forever and Ever, Amen” by Randy Travis
“Stand By Me” by Ben E. King
“When a Man Loves a Woman” by Percy Sledge

Then transition smoothly into another set of high-energy Oldies.

“Having a Party” by Rod Stewart
“Shout” by The Isley Brothers
“A Hard Day’s Night” by The Beatles
“Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison

As it gets later, you can feel free to focus on the younger (and likely drunker) crowd.

“Get Off of My Cloud” by The Rolling Stones
“Are You Gonna Be My Girl” by Jet
“Dancing With Myself” by Billy Idol

A high-energy Hiop-Hop set in the midst of two Rock sets.

“I Want You Back” by The Jackson 5
“Bust A Move” by Young MC
“Let Me Clear My Throat (Live)” by DJ Kool
“Daylight” by Matt & Kim
“Summer Love” by Justin Timberlake
“Stronger” by Kanye West
“Encore” by Jay-Z

Time for another set of slow songs.

“I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz
“When I Fall in Love” by Nat King Cole

As you can see from here on out, we’ve pretty much dispensed with the slow stuff. Anyone left on the dance floor at this hour is here to party. Give the people what they want.

“Spirit in the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum
“Magic Carpet Ride” by Steppenwolf
“I Love Rock ‘N Roll” by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
“Love in an Elevator” by Aerosmith
“Elevation” by U2

Another set of Hip-Hop

“Yeah” by Usher
“Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake
“Gold Digger” by Kanye West

Some Fast-paced Punk/Hard Rock numbers.

“I Wanna Be Sedated” by The Ramones
“I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked” by Ida Maria
“Someday I Suppose” by Mighty Mighty Bosstones
“We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister

Close things out with one last killer set of Hip-Hop

“Fight for Your Right” by Beastie Boys
“Rapper’s Delight” by Sugarhill Gang
“Run This Town” by Jay-Z
“Low” by Flo Rida
“Raise Your Glass” by P!nk
“The Rockafeller S***k” by Fatboy Slim
“One More Time (Short Radio Version)” by Daft Punk

A happy, sleepy, goodnight song to close out the night.

“Somewhere Over the Rainbow/ What a Wonderful World” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

If any of you have decided to DJ your own wedding, I’d love to here your comments on the experience. Feel free to post below.

Though the song does not currently appear on his MySpace page, Austin promises a forthcoming EP will make the song available for purchase.

I heard the song on TV today and immediately started to track it down. Here are some of the lyrics, as far as I can tell:

“Baby there’s a chance
That if I dance with you tomorrow,
You’ll be more than just a friend,
And we’ll end up sitting in a tree.”

“And if I made those eyes at you
Would your heart grow up a size or two.
Would there be no more goodbyes for you
Forever we will be two, two two,
Only two, two, two more time.
Only two, two, two,
Only two, two, two more time.

Or at least if I tried baby you’d be mine.”

“When you make those eyes at me,
My heart goes up a size or three,
And some far-off July will see
Us married by the sea.
Only two two two,
Two two two more time,
Maybe you’ll be mine.”

Until the EP comes out, you can watch Andrew perform the song here.

Check it out.

It’s not an easy thing for a heterosexual male to admit. I’m not sure why exactly. Maybe it’s because while “guy music” doesn’t seem to be a coherent category, “girl music” definitely is. It’s palpable and readily identifiable, located somewhere between chick-lit and movies about dancing on the pop culture landscape. We men know girl music when we hear it, and as soon as it starts playing, we know that we’re supposed to pretend we aren’t caught up in its infectious beats and its liberating, self-affirming messages.

There’s some music men are just not supposed to like, and it’s for this reason that I think I have heretofore resisted the urge to stand up and be counted as a P!nk supporter. I’ve always thought of P!nk’s music as girl music, and so I’ve kept secret my long-standing love affair with songs like “Just Like a Pill.” But now, since hearing “Please Don’t Leave Me,” I’m starting to think I was wrong about P!nk.

Perhaps P!nk belongs among the ranks of female pop-artists its okay for music-loving men to admire. Maybe it was never accurate to assign her a spot alongside the Kelly Clarksons and the Christina Aguileras. Maybe it’s time to admit she belongs with the Beyoncés and the Gwen Stefanis.

“Please Don’t Leave Me” has been stuck in my head since I first heard it a few days ago. It’s an apologetic love song, and it’s catchy as hell.

I don’t know if I can yell any louder.
How many times have I kicked you outta here,
Or said something insulting?

Please don’t leave me.
Please don’t leave me.
I always say how I don’t need you,
But it’s always gonna come right back to this.

P!nk’s voice is undeniably sexy, and hearing her breathlessly whisper the words “Please don’t leave me” over and over again makes one wonder how any guy could consider leaving her. “Please Don’t Leave Me” should be added to the increasingly long list of respectable P!nk songs, and I would encourage my fellow men not to make the same mistake I did, and to give the tough chick with the raspy voice another listen.

So, yeah, I guess like P!nk. You got a problem with that?

Listen to Another Song.

If the children don’t grow up,
Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We’re just a million little gods causin’ rain storms turnin’ every good thing to rust.

I guess we’ll just have to adjust.

“Wake Up” can be found on The Arcade Fire’s 2004 album, Funeral, a solid album, though probably not as strong as 2007’s Neon Bible.

In all honesty, I had all but forgotten about “Wake Up”; since being reminded of its existence, however, I’ve awarded the song a spot on my July 2009 playlist.

Listen to Another Song.

U2’s “With or Without You” is the greatest pop song ever written. I won’t even entertain any argument to the contrary. Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me” and The Beatles’ “All You Need is Love” are the only other two songs that even come close.

And if a critique of “With or Without You” lends itself to hyperbole, maybe that has something to do with the way Bono’s trademark Irish holler oscillates so effectively between desire and regret throughout the last half of this song, stretching a single syllable into an epic simile of rock-n’-roll pathos.

Look me in the eye and tell me truly that you have not, when alone, tried to imitate that anguished, tear-soaked wail. Swear to me that you have never shut your eyes and shouted out your own “Woah-oah-oah-oah! Woah-oah-ah-oah-oah!” If you can do that, I will call you a liar to your lying liar face.

No one can listen to “With or Without You” and not be swept up. It’s a broken-hearted manifesto, and it’s as close as any pop song has ever come to perfection. The greatest love songs are necessarily about not having a person. The best love songs – the really, really great ones – are never about happiness. They’re about heartache. They operate as stand-ins for the objects of our desire, and echo through the empty part of our hearts.

A happy love song makes us feel happy by reminding us of happy times; that’s an easy trick. By contrast, a beautiful sad song is tasked with making painful things pleasant. It’s the job of a sad song to make torment beautiful and “With or Without You” does that better than any other song; it sums up in its title and its chorus the drama associated with every screwed up, on-again-off-again relationship any of us has ever experienced:

With or without you,
With or without you,
I can’t live with or without you.

I write this with the knowledge that somewhere out there is a fifteen year-old kid who has never heard this song before, or at least never really listened to it. Somewhere there is a teenager whose heart is breaking for the very first time. And I want to send that kid a message: go out and buy this song – today. It will change your life.

I’ve been reacquainting myself with Pearl Jam recently. The band and I parted ways for a while after No Code. Just a few months ago, I picked up their self-titled 2006 album and really enjoyed it. That last album was borne out of protest. It was dominated by anti-Bush tracks with titles like “World Wide Suicide,” “Comatose,” and “Severed Hand,” songs with lyrics like:

I felt the earth on Monday. It moved beneath my feet
In the form of a morning paper. Laid out for me to see.

The whole world … world over.
It’s worldwide suicide.

It’s pretty easy to see where the band’s head-space was.

Pearl Jam’s new song, “The Fixer,” has a decidedly more optimistic outlook, which may have something to do with the changing political climate in America. Word on the internet is that “The Fixer” could be about Obama, but that limits the song a bit for me. Sure “The Fixer” is about Obama, but it’s also about change, restoration, resistance, and irrepressible optimism. In other words, it’s a classic rock-n’-roll song.

When something’s dark let me shed a little light on it.
When something’s cold let me put a little fire on it.
If something’s old I wanna put a bit of shine on it.
When something’s gone I wanna fight to get it back again!
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!
Fight to get it back again!
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

When signals cross I want to put a little straight on it.
If there’s no love, I want to try to love again.
I’ll say your prayers. I’ll take your side.
I find us a way to make light.
I’ll dig your grave.
We’ll dance and sing.
What’s saved could be one last lifetime.

Pearl Jam’s new album, Backspacer, will be out in September.

Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Well I haven’t seen a Monday in a month.
Though the weekdays where the week ends they get rough.
When those lights are bright I just can’t get enough,
So I haven’t seen a Monday in a month.

By Friday I have taken all I can,
But by Friday night, hey, I’m a brand new man.
The wine and dine on Sunday can be tough
When too much of a good a time just ain’t enough.
So I haven’t seen a Monday in a month.

You can listen to the whole song on CBC Radio 3.

Be sure to check out Adam Puddington’s myspace page too.

Listen to Another Song.

I think dotjr is a remarkable talent, and I’m happy to spread the word to those of you out there who may not have heard of him. One mark of a really strong musician, I think, is that he or she can sing about a very simple premise, using very simple lyrics, and the song ends up sounding timeless rather than generic.

Below are the lyrics to “Love Song For Everyone”:

I love your fingers and toes.
I love your lips and your nose.
Your ears and your eyes, I love your frown and your smile.
I love each hair on your head, and every tear that you shed,
Each move that you make, and every breath that you take.

I love you more every day.
I’ll love you more if there’s ways
To love you more than I say
But I don’t know if there’s space.
My heart is so full of love for you
It’s about to split in two.
My chest can’t contain the proof
That love will take over you.

Just this evening, I found this video on YouTube of dotjr performing “Love Song For Everyone.” Notably, the lyrics in this version are slightly different than the version available through his myspace page.

Have a listen:

Listen to more dotjr.

These are the top ten best songs to run to, according to me. They’re the ones that keep me going on those too rare occasions when I drag myself off the couch and get my ass in gear.

1. “The Saints are Coming” by U2 (with Green Day)

I like a song that builds momentum as I run. “The Saints are Coming” by U2 and Green Day is a running song that starts off slowly and gets progressively faster and louder. It features Billy Joe Armstrong and Bono on dueling lead vocals and a chorus that will get your legs pumping:

The Saints are Coming! The Saints are Coming!
I say no matter how I try I realize there’s no reply.
The Saints are Coming! The Saints are Coming!
I say no matter how I try, I realize there’s no reply.

2. “Crazy In Love” by Beyoncé (with Jay-Z)

This might just be my favourite song to run to. The beat is loud and fast, and the combination of Beyoncé and Jay-Z just makes you want to kick ass. Every time I hear it on my iPod it makes me pick up the pace.

3. “All This Time” by The Heartless Bastards

I first heard this song on an early episode of Friday Night Lights. Minka Kelly, who plays Lyla Garrity, was actually listening to it while jogging.

“All This Time” by The Heartless Bastards was a classic pain in the ass to find. No one seemed to know the name of the band. No one seemed to be writing about the song on the Internet. I eventually happened upon a post on a message board which lead me in the right direction.

I’ll admit that it’s slightly mellow for a running song, but the beat is strong, and the chorus builds to a rocking crescendo.

4. “I Want You Bad” by The Offspring

The best part about “I Want You Bad” is that Dexter Holland, The Offspring’s lead singer, yells the whole thing. The whole song is just yelling. It’s exhilarating. Plus pop-punk makes great running music.

Your one vice
Is your too nice.
Come around now can you see,

Complete me.
Mistreat me.
Want you to be bad, bad, bad, bad, really bad.

5. “Stuck Between Stations” by The Hold Steady

There are nights when I think that Sal Paradise was right.
Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together
Sucking off each other at the demonstrations,
Making sure their makeup’s straight
Crushing one another with colossal expectations
Dependent, undisciplined, and sleeping late.

I love The Hold Steady and their brilliant lyricism is a big part of the reason why. The opening of “Stuck Between Stations” sounds like an anthem. It makes you feel like you’re in a stadium. A competition is unfolding, bodies are about to get bruised, and winners are about to be separated from whiners. Then we get a kick-ass chorus:

She was a really cool kisser and she wasn’t all that strict of a Christian.
She was a damn good dancer but she wasn’t all that great of a girlfriend.
He likes the warm feeling but he’s tired of all the dehydration.
Most nights were crystal clear but tonight it’s like he’s stuck between stations on the radio.

6. “‘Till I Collapse” by Eminem

I always think of this song as an alternative version of “Lose Yourself.” It’s got a similar heavy beat, and it’s got the same “never gonna stop” sentiment. I think Eminem is supremely talented; his ability to rhyme is off the charts. Add this song to your exercise playlist. You’ll be so impressed you won’t even notice that burning sensation in your quads.

Adrenalin shots
Of penicillin could not
Get the illin’ to stop.
Amoxicillin’s just not
real enough.

Fa shizzle my wizzle
this is the plot.
Listen up, you bizzles forgot
Slizzl does not
Give a fuck!

7. “Always” by blink 182

I’m not sure why I like blink 182 so much. I’m not a college freshman nor have I ever owned a skateboard. Something about their angsty-teen aesthetic speaks to me though.

It’s the insistence of the guitar in “Always” that makes this song one of my favourite songs to run to. There’s something a little bit 80s about this song too, which I like.

Have a listen:

8. “O.P.P”. by Naughty by Nature

Arm me with harmony. Here’s some old-school rap for your running playlist. I had forgotten all about this song until I randomly heard some snowboarders playing it one day a couple of years ago. It’s been a fixture on my running playlist ever since.

You ever had a girl and met her on a nice “Hello.”
You get her name and number and then you feelin’ real mellow.
You get home, wait a day. She’s what you wanna know about.
Then you call up and it’s her girlfriend or her cousin’s house.
It’s not a front, a F to the R to the O to the N to the T.
It’s just her boyfriend’s at her house (Boy, that’s what is scary).

Damn skippy!

9. “Oh My God” by Jay-Z

Hov’s “Oh My God” makes me want to run even when I’m sitting down. It hits hard and fast and delivers lyrically throughout.

Now I’m knee-deep in the concrete,
Like the streets made of quicksand, it’s beyond deep
I got a chemical romance, two left feet,
So now I dance with the devil, please G-O-D,
Save me from the black parade, release me.
My life like Grand Theft Auto PSP.

10. “Stronger” by Kanye West

Kanye West’s Stronger is the final song on my list of the best songs to run to. The lyrics are killer:

N-n-now that that don’t kill me
Can only make me stronger.
I need you to hurry up now,
‘Cause I can’t wait much longer

I know I got to be right now,
‘Cause I can’t get much wronger.
Man, I’ve been waitin’ all night now;
That’s how long I’ve been on ya.

Here’s the video:

While you’re at it, why not check out Top Ten Best Breakup Songs (According to Me)?